Join the compassion revolution
Underground Ictus is a conversation about vocal music, creative leadership, and human interaction that explores how creative artists can learn to love and cherish their process and product by practicing compassion. We ask questions based in science and practice in order to understand how to avoid forms of trauma, disengagement, and unequal power paradigms that can so easily become byproducts of group-based creativity, and we join with the growing numbers of artists who seek for their art to feed every aspect of their lives.
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Notes on Compassion and Discernment vs. Judgment Language
Paul Gilbert defines compassion as ”a sensitivity to suffering in self and others with a commitment to try and alleviate and prevent it.”
In case you're first response is curiosity as to whether a focus on suffering can lead to a dour experience, Gilbert's co-contributors , Christopher Germer and Thorsten Barnhofer researched the impacts of compassion focus on groups. They discovered that “Compassion is frequently associated with positive emotions. Compassion is also likely to generate positive feedback cycles in which positive emotions lead to positive interactions with others which reciprocally reinforce well-being in all concerned.” (Gilbert, Paul, et al. Compassion: Concepts, Research and Application. Routledge, NY, 2017). Recognizing that we all suffer, and being motivated to diminish suffering in yourself and in others doesn't equate to dwelling on suffering, but it does equate to increased well-being for everyone involved.
If we as leaders are to help alleviate and prevent suffering in others, we have to be able to listen inwardly to discover how and why we suffer as leaders. We don't have to look far to discover the challenges that can lead to suffering in leadership professions. Traditionally, ensemble leaders of all stripes have been asked to execute an impossible number of tasks. This places them at risk of feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, and regularly fearful of failure. At any given moment, a leader might feel the pressure to:
Paul Gilbert defines compassion as ”a sensitivity to suffering in self and others with a commitment to try and alleviate and prevent it.”
In case you're first response is curiosity as to whether a focus on suffering can lead to a dour experience, Gilbert's co-contributors , Christopher Germer and Thorsten Barnhofer researched the impacts of compassion focus on groups. They discovered that “Compassion is frequently associated with positive emotions. Compassion is also likely to generate positive feedback cycles in which positive emotions lead to positive interactions with others which reciprocally reinforce well-being in all concerned.” (Gilbert, Paul, et al. Compassion: Concepts, Research and Application. Routledge, NY, 2017). Recognizing that we all suffer, and being motivated to diminish suffering in yourself and in others doesn't equate to dwelling on suffering, but it does equate to increased well-being for everyone involved.
If we as leaders are to help alleviate and prevent suffering in others, we have to be able to listen inwardly to discover how and why we suffer as leaders. We don't have to look far to discover the challenges that can lead to suffering in leadership professions. Traditionally, ensemble leaders of all stripes have been asked to execute an impossible number of tasks. This places them at risk of feeling overwhelmed, undervalued, and regularly fearful of failure. At any given moment, a leader might feel the pressure to:
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Understand every aspect of the artistic endeavor
Respond to everyone's emotional needs Have insight into each person's production abilities Understand how each person's instrument works Know everyone's capacity better than they do Believe in everyone in the room Reveal clairvoyance regarding audience response Make the plan seem organic and natural/unplanned Motivate recruitment, fund raising, and future security Reveal the art through their bodies in time Have the space and time to be present and calm Have a deft understanding of pitch (music) Deeply understand variations in stylistic requirements Find joy in every moment (it is art, after all) Enforce discipline among all people in the room |
Be precisely aware of the clock
Know how to speak eloquently about life Have a poetic relationship with the art Reflect on the historical context of the art Have a physical connection with the art Demonstrate organizational capacity and efficiency Motivate engagement and ongoing interest Be cognizant of financial needs of each effort Avoid offending anyone Know when anyone makes a mistake Call out everyone who makes a mistake Know how to help others communicate stylistically Help others find enjoyment Listen to and incorporate everyone's opinions You fill in the rest of the blanks_________________ |
Any one of these elements presents enough challenge to occupy someone. Given these challenges, an industry-wide lack of compassion for leaders (from themselves, their colleagues, and participants), and a belief that an individual should have the capacity to execute all of the above in a given moment, it is easy to understand why judgment has become such a valued tool in traditional leadership models.
Judgment has a sharpening, focusing capacity. To hear that something is "right" or "wrong" seemingly clears away confusion by eliminating all other possibilities. There are two options in a judgment, and the recipient is encouraged to choose the one that the leader articulates as "right". If they are unable to do so, the leader can reiterate their failure and request that the one "right" answer be fulfilled until the time at which they feel satisfied or give up. Judgment can be motivational. It can help people feel engaged and sure. Judgment can give people clarity of purpose and a sense of meaning. However, meaning, purpose, clarity, and motivation built on judgment are as two-dimensional as the judgment itself. For all of its strength, judgment lacks flexibility. Judgment confines, reduces, and constricts creativity by convincing people that there are no other options.
When leaders and participants learn to communicate in judgment-free language, leaders find that the tasks traditionally expected of them become more manageable. They realize that they don't actually have to accomplish all of the above tasks, because everyone in the creative space contributes to the completion of them. All of the above need to be addressed for creative endeavors to thrive, but they are not the isolated purview of the one who spends the most time in preparation. By contrast, when leaders spend their energy creating the spaces in which others can explore, create, refine, and focus their artistic energies, the burdens of creativity become shared more equally, and the leader finds that they are free to focus on their own artistic needs. That a leader has the space to feel into their artistic needs is a concept so typically foreign to the artistic leadership process that it likely seems laughable to many. Yet, how is a group supposed to create if the leader is consumed with goals that, when all combined into an unmanageable whole, are contrary to creativity?
The motivation that compassion embodies acknowledges that two-dimensional thinking leads to suffering, if only because complex creativity never fits into one box or the other. The conflict between right/wrong judgements and the rainbow of options available to a creative artist confuses, confounds, and constricts, leading to differing forms of suffering. Yet, a compassionate mind also recognizes the suffering inherent in leaving people with too many options while they try to work together toward a goal, make measurable and repeatable decisions, and seek order and focus. As we learn to release judgment language from our personal experiences, we alleviate the pressure of feeling like we have to succeed at all of the expectations laid at our feet simultaneously. This then opens us to find ways to communicate with others that avoids judgment language and capitalizes on different ways to motivate creative exploration in others while providing order and clarity as they explore.
Judgment has a sharpening, focusing capacity. To hear that something is "right" or "wrong" seemingly clears away confusion by eliminating all other possibilities. There are two options in a judgment, and the recipient is encouraged to choose the one that the leader articulates as "right". If they are unable to do so, the leader can reiterate their failure and request that the one "right" answer be fulfilled until the time at which they feel satisfied or give up. Judgment can be motivational. It can help people feel engaged and sure. Judgment can give people clarity of purpose and a sense of meaning. However, meaning, purpose, clarity, and motivation built on judgment are as two-dimensional as the judgment itself. For all of its strength, judgment lacks flexibility. Judgment confines, reduces, and constricts creativity by convincing people that there are no other options.
When leaders and participants learn to communicate in judgment-free language, leaders find that the tasks traditionally expected of them become more manageable. They realize that they don't actually have to accomplish all of the above tasks, because everyone in the creative space contributes to the completion of them. All of the above need to be addressed for creative endeavors to thrive, but they are not the isolated purview of the one who spends the most time in preparation. By contrast, when leaders spend their energy creating the spaces in which others can explore, create, refine, and focus their artistic energies, the burdens of creativity become shared more equally, and the leader finds that they are free to focus on their own artistic needs. That a leader has the space to feel into their artistic needs is a concept so typically foreign to the artistic leadership process that it likely seems laughable to many. Yet, how is a group supposed to create if the leader is consumed with goals that, when all combined into an unmanageable whole, are contrary to creativity?
The motivation that compassion embodies acknowledges that two-dimensional thinking leads to suffering, if only because complex creativity never fits into one box or the other. The conflict between right/wrong judgements and the rainbow of options available to a creative artist confuses, confounds, and constricts, leading to differing forms of suffering. Yet, a compassionate mind also recognizes the suffering inherent in leaving people with too many options while they try to work together toward a goal, make measurable and repeatable decisions, and seek order and focus. As we learn to release judgment language from our personal experiences, we alleviate the pressure of feeling like we have to succeed at all of the expectations laid at our feet simultaneously. This then opens us to find ways to communicate with others that avoids judgment language and capitalizes on different ways to motivate creative exploration in others while providing order and clarity as they explore.
Simple Check-Ins to Guide Compassionate Thinking and Learn to Use Discernment and Avoid Judgement Language
Here are a few games to begin to inspire compassion habits in yourself and others and to notice the judgment in your own life and work. As you explore and play, listen for ways in which practicing compassion as a motivation change your outlook on life, and listen for the impact that judgments have on your psyche, and ways in which you can begin to change the power of judgment in your personal experience.
1) Practice this compassion meditation edited from His Holiness the Dalai Lama's suggested compassion meditation printed in "The Book of Joy." (His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams. The Book Of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. Avery, New York, 2016.)
Close your eyes, notice your breath and check in with your senses (what do you see, hear, touch, smell and taste?) to awaken awareness of your self. Say these words to yourself:
"May you avoid suffering, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you have music and art and dancing, may you be heard, may I hear you, may you know peace and joy." Pause to notice how you feel.
Picture in your mind someone close to you and speak the words to them as well, and then someone else, perhaps even a group of people. Do it for as long as you like. Pause to notice how you feel and to check in with your senses.
2) Check in with your own judgement language. Reflect on the nature of education in the vast majority of the world and over time. Education from school to home and play is often built on judgment language. Therefore, no one is immune from the influence of judgment in their lives.
Choose a few simple tasks that you do regularly in your life. Prior to starting them, ask yourself to notice whenever a judgmental thought enters your mind. Be open to hearing judgment in all of its forms from outright belittlement of you or others to simple "that was wrong" statements like, "you didn't get that clean enough" or "I never get that right, I'm just not good at it," or even something positive like "that was perfection" or "I always do a good job with that." Judgements are judgements, and saying a good opens the door for a bad since they live in the same part of you. Each time you notice yourself saying a judgmental thought to yourself, restate the thought verbally (if possible) in a new way that is free from judgment like "I still feel grease on the plate, I'll wash it some more" or "that task still presents a challenge to me," or "I am grateful to be a part of this activity that brings me deep affirmation." Set aside several short times a day for this kind of reflection. Be aware of when you begin to replace judgment thoughts with discernment through objective reflections without having to premeditate the replacement.
3) Do a free write that lasts fewer than 10 minutes. Set a timer for 2 minute intervals and reflect on the following questions in a free writing (don't stop) capacity: a) what does judgment mean to me? b) when I am in a rehearsal environment with others, how free do I feel to express myself? c) How often do I get frustrated with others in rehearsals? d) when I rehearse by myself, how do I find motivation and what does it feel like? e) what does judgment mean to others? f) how do I define discernment void of judgement? Once you're finished writing, go back and circle three statements that stand out to you from each question and rewrite them on a summary page and consider them as a whole.
4) Notice times when you hear anyone say something with judgment language the next time you are a participant in an artistic experience where you are not the leader. This can range from overt attacks on someone's person (which are typically more rare, but still possible) to small judgments like "that's the wrong note" or even words like "great", "you're amazing", "yes", and "no". Remember that any judgment opens the door for all judgment. Positive affirmation has a place in the creative process, but it still distracts people from the task. After each time you notice a new expression of judgement language, rephrase the statement for yourself in your mind in non-judgemental discernment language.
5) Video yourself leading a rehearsal and watch 5-10 minutes of it. Script it out, that is, write down everything that you and others say and in the moments that you aren't talking, write a description of what you notice yourself doing physically. Notice the kinds of things you say and categorize them as: a) judgment-based (this includes "great" and "yes" as well as "awful" and "no") b) target practice focused (focusing on the task, assessment, repetition, and reiterating/reshaping the task), c) anything other than these two as off-focus. Even play with responses that seem like they are made for judgement like when someone sings a note not printed in the score. These are the fun ones, as many people balk at the idea of not simply telling someone that they are wrong so they can fix it. But see what kinds of discerning options you can come up with like asking everyone to listen to a target voice or piano and sing along and notice where they are together or apart, or saying something like "can we all revisit this note/phrase and see if we can agree (with each other, with the score, etc.)?" It may seem silly at first, but the permission to explore changes the ways in which people engage with their creative space, and frees you as the leader from being the watchdog, which can be powerfully relieving.
6) Play the ball with a friend(s)...note that this game can also be played solo, but is more fun with others.
This game works with a deck of cards, a wadded up piece of paper, a quarter, a ball, etc., basically, anything that you can use as a projectile to launch toward the recipient and land in a hoop.
One person create a hoop or landing area with their hands/arms.
The other person stand a far enough distance away that they are unlikely to land the projectile in the hoop 100% of the time.
The projectile person begins to attempt to get the projectile in the hoop.
The hoop person respond to each attempt in the following manner:
a) for the first 2-3 minutes, tell the tossing individual what they are doing wrong (e.g. too soft, too hard, too high, too low)
b) for the next 2-3 minutes, respond with a judgment word only (e.g. "great!" if they make it and "no good" if they don't)
c) for the next 2-3 minutes, ask them to notice something about their body or a creative image (e.g. "notice your wrist", "notice your breath", "release on the exhale", "visualize the arc of the projectile's flight", etc.). Offer one suggestion and give them several repetitions before changing it. When you change it, let them know that you are going to change it by asking them to pause, and then consider the new target, then let them try it several times before changing again. As they are repeating one target, you might find ways to encourage them to remember the target, and to slow their pacing so that they have time to experience the target. Make every attempt to avoid using judgment language in any form, even the word "good."
Switch and let the other person try.
When you have both done all three, pause to reflect on the experience, how it felt to hear each kind of prompt, and how you responded. Note that you may have been more on target when hearing judgment words, and what that might mean for you and how you've been trained. Try to notice how you felt emotionally during those moments if that occurred. Notice what it felt like to focus on part of your body or a mental image. Did some of them lead you to different experiences than others? Try to notice with curiosity and without judgment, asking yourself how you might continue to explore these results.
Play the game again if you have time.
6) Practice saying "thank you" in place of "you're awesome!". When you have the opportunity to offer feedback to people in your life, especially after an accomplishment, try saying the words "thank you" and following them with "for XYZ, I felt ______ when I saw/heard/experienced you ABC." Gratitude offers a non-judgmental reaction and opens you to the opportunity to reflect on your own experience, and it helps avoid the risk of sending the person whose accomplishment you are attempting to appreciate into a judgment zone. If they've just accomplished something, they are likely already judging themselves, and your effort to avoid judgment will come as a welcome relief.
Here are a few games to begin to inspire compassion habits in yourself and others and to notice the judgment in your own life and work. As you explore and play, listen for ways in which practicing compassion as a motivation change your outlook on life, and listen for the impact that judgments have on your psyche, and ways in which you can begin to change the power of judgment in your personal experience.
1) Practice this compassion meditation edited from His Holiness the Dalai Lama's suggested compassion meditation printed in "The Book of Joy." (His Holiness the Dalai Lama, Archbishop Desmond Tutu, and Douglas Abrams. The Book Of Joy: Lasting Happiness in a Changing World. Avery, New York, 2016.)
Close your eyes, notice your breath and check in with your senses (what do you see, hear, touch, smell and taste?) to awaken awareness of your self. Say these words to yourself:
"May you avoid suffering, may you be happy, may you be healthy, may you have music and art and dancing, may you be heard, may I hear you, may you know peace and joy." Pause to notice how you feel.
Picture in your mind someone close to you and speak the words to them as well, and then someone else, perhaps even a group of people. Do it for as long as you like. Pause to notice how you feel and to check in with your senses.
2) Check in with your own judgement language. Reflect on the nature of education in the vast majority of the world and over time. Education from school to home and play is often built on judgment language. Therefore, no one is immune from the influence of judgment in their lives.
Choose a few simple tasks that you do regularly in your life. Prior to starting them, ask yourself to notice whenever a judgmental thought enters your mind. Be open to hearing judgment in all of its forms from outright belittlement of you or others to simple "that was wrong" statements like, "you didn't get that clean enough" or "I never get that right, I'm just not good at it," or even something positive like "that was perfection" or "I always do a good job with that." Judgements are judgements, and saying a good opens the door for a bad since they live in the same part of you. Each time you notice yourself saying a judgmental thought to yourself, restate the thought verbally (if possible) in a new way that is free from judgment like "I still feel grease on the plate, I'll wash it some more" or "that task still presents a challenge to me," or "I am grateful to be a part of this activity that brings me deep affirmation." Set aside several short times a day for this kind of reflection. Be aware of when you begin to replace judgment thoughts with discernment through objective reflections without having to premeditate the replacement.
3) Do a free write that lasts fewer than 10 minutes. Set a timer for 2 minute intervals and reflect on the following questions in a free writing (don't stop) capacity: a) what does judgment mean to me? b) when I am in a rehearsal environment with others, how free do I feel to express myself? c) How often do I get frustrated with others in rehearsals? d) when I rehearse by myself, how do I find motivation and what does it feel like? e) what does judgment mean to others? f) how do I define discernment void of judgement? Once you're finished writing, go back and circle three statements that stand out to you from each question and rewrite them on a summary page and consider them as a whole.
4) Notice times when you hear anyone say something with judgment language the next time you are a participant in an artistic experience where you are not the leader. This can range from overt attacks on someone's person (which are typically more rare, but still possible) to small judgments like "that's the wrong note" or even words like "great", "you're amazing", "yes", and "no". Remember that any judgment opens the door for all judgment. Positive affirmation has a place in the creative process, but it still distracts people from the task. After each time you notice a new expression of judgement language, rephrase the statement for yourself in your mind in non-judgemental discernment language.
5) Video yourself leading a rehearsal and watch 5-10 minutes of it. Script it out, that is, write down everything that you and others say and in the moments that you aren't talking, write a description of what you notice yourself doing physically. Notice the kinds of things you say and categorize them as: a) judgment-based (this includes "great" and "yes" as well as "awful" and "no") b) target practice focused (focusing on the task, assessment, repetition, and reiterating/reshaping the task), c) anything other than these two as off-focus. Even play with responses that seem like they are made for judgement like when someone sings a note not printed in the score. These are the fun ones, as many people balk at the idea of not simply telling someone that they are wrong so they can fix it. But see what kinds of discerning options you can come up with like asking everyone to listen to a target voice or piano and sing along and notice where they are together or apart, or saying something like "can we all revisit this note/phrase and see if we can agree (with each other, with the score, etc.)?" It may seem silly at first, but the permission to explore changes the ways in which people engage with their creative space, and frees you as the leader from being the watchdog, which can be powerfully relieving.
6) Play the ball with a friend(s)...note that this game can also be played solo, but is more fun with others.
This game works with a deck of cards, a wadded up piece of paper, a quarter, a ball, etc., basically, anything that you can use as a projectile to launch toward the recipient and land in a hoop.
One person create a hoop or landing area with their hands/arms.
The other person stand a far enough distance away that they are unlikely to land the projectile in the hoop 100% of the time.
The projectile person begins to attempt to get the projectile in the hoop.
The hoop person respond to each attempt in the following manner:
a) for the first 2-3 minutes, tell the tossing individual what they are doing wrong (e.g. too soft, too hard, too high, too low)
b) for the next 2-3 minutes, respond with a judgment word only (e.g. "great!" if they make it and "no good" if they don't)
c) for the next 2-3 minutes, ask them to notice something about their body or a creative image (e.g. "notice your wrist", "notice your breath", "release on the exhale", "visualize the arc of the projectile's flight", etc.). Offer one suggestion and give them several repetitions before changing it. When you change it, let them know that you are going to change it by asking them to pause, and then consider the new target, then let them try it several times before changing again. As they are repeating one target, you might find ways to encourage them to remember the target, and to slow their pacing so that they have time to experience the target. Make every attempt to avoid using judgment language in any form, even the word "good."
Switch and let the other person try.
When you have both done all three, pause to reflect on the experience, how it felt to hear each kind of prompt, and how you responded. Note that you may have been more on target when hearing judgment words, and what that might mean for you and how you've been trained. Try to notice how you felt emotionally during those moments if that occurred. Notice what it felt like to focus on part of your body or a mental image. Did some of them lead you to different experiences than others? Try to notice with curiosity and without judgment, asking yourself how you might continue to explore these results.
Play the game again if you have time.
6) Practice saying "thank you" in place of "you're awesome!". When you have the opportunity to offer feedback to people in your life, especially after an accomplishment, try saying the words "thank you" and following them with "for XYZ, I felt ______ when I saw/heard/experienced you ABC." Gratitude offers a non-judgmental reaction and opens you to the opportunity to reflect on your own experience, and it helps avoid the risk of sending the person whose accomplishment you are attempting to appreciate into a judgment zone. If they've just accomplished something, they are likely already judging themselves, and your effort to avoid judgment will come as a welcome relief.
There are many ways to practice compassion and remap your language to encourage constructive, motivating creative spaces. Decide what works well for you to begin new habits and then share some of them with your groups and see what they find motivating. By simply bringing new language into your rehearsal space you will begin to change the environment and open people to new forms of creativity.
